Oh, life has been so busy. We've been going through some growing pains with Eline. She has tried to push the rules somewhat and is now very unhappy because I won't let her do whatever she wants. To be fair, I think she could do whatever she wanted at home, but I've been very clear on the rules so she shouldn't be surprised.
Last Saturday she spent the night at a friends house and then on Sunday afternoon I couldn't get a hold of her. She wouldn't answer her cell phone, which was the only phone number I had (I've since remedied that situation). I went over to her friend's house around 4:00 and told her she had to come home. She wanted to go to the church youth group and hadn't done some of her chores, which were supposed to be done on Saturday. So I brought her home and she did her chores and then I talked her again about my expectations.
Then again last night she went to a Powder Puff football game. Before I dropped her off I asked if she had a ride home and she assured me she did. She is supposed to be home by 9:30 on school nights. Well 9:30 came and went and she didn't come home. At 9:40 she calls and says she needs a ride home, but she can't tell me where she is at. She was at a friends house but couldn't give me directions, and said she would walk to another friends house. I found her and picked her up and needless to say I wasn't too happy. I told her that she should called before 9:30 to tell me she didn't have a ride. Her explanation was that she thought she would have a ride at 9:40 but that fell through. I told her that even if she'd have gotten a ride at 9:40 she would still be late coming home and she didn't call to let me know. I told her that from now on, if she doesn't have a ride home at least 20 minutes prior to her curfew she needs to call me so I can pick her up. I don't mind giving her a ride, but part of the reason for the curfew is so I can go to sleep without worrying where my girls are. When we got home she went to her room, slammed the door and wouldn't come out. So we'll talk after school today.
Am I being too tough? Feel free to comment, since this is my first try at parenting a 17 year old. So far I haven't punished her or restricted her because I think she's still learning but I do think I will have to do something if she doesn't start following the rules more closely. Her curfew on the weekends is 12:00 which is the curfew for Roy City. For special events, such as prom I'll probably go with 1:00. So tell me what you think?
Okay, now for the rest of the news: I have applied for several jobs because I want to earn an extra $300 per month to pay for Chelsea's band trip to Disneyland and our trip to Hawaii this summer for the AYSO National Soccer Championships. I do save money each month, but the recent renovations on my basement took up a big chunk of my savings account and I don't want to have to dip into my investments (for my real retirement and Chelsea's college) if I don't have to. So a little part time job seems like the answer. The good thing for me is that there are tons of job openings and just not enough people to fill them. Of course they are all part-time, $10 an hour jobs, not enough to support a family, and of course no benefits. Lucky for me I don't need any of that. So wish me luck today.
Chelsea is doing well in school except for one subject, surprising it's not math this time! We are working on that, though so hopefully it will be better soon. She made a goal at Thursday's JV game and of course I was at school so I didn't get to see it. :( Isn't that the way it always goes? Well, speaking of school, I need to get there!
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3 comments:
No I do not think you are being too strict with Eline. If she didn't have any rules at home, that's still no reason to expect less of her when she's here. Besides, you can't have 2 sets of rules or else it will cause issues with Chelsea.
I think it will just be a bit bumpy while she figures out how far she can push you. It's a normal teenager thing, especially since she's 17. So don't let her unhappiness shake your confidence in what you're doing. Your expectations are clear and she needs to know there will eventually be consequences.
I suspect she's been a bit spoiled in her upbringing so you're probably going to have a few tantrums and growing pains.
From what I've seen, she seems to be a good kid so I think this will pass. Hang in there!
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. She may be used to doing whatever she likes but things are different in this country and she is still considered a minor. Hopefully she's just pushing to see how far you'll bend and won't go any further. Good luck with everything. It's not everyone that can take in a complete stranger to live with them! :)
I don't think in today's society, you are being too strict. I think the curfew times are fair. No matter if it is your kid or not, one must follow the rules if you stay at someone's house. Maybe even chat with her parents to update them on what she is doing and throw in the rules and the curfew times so everone is on board??? Good luck. I think you are doing a great job.
Kim B
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